I should probably explain that while Cambridge City and County Councils have put in a great deal of traffic enraging over the years, none of it has been quite like this. Nearly, but not quite.
The county traffic planning men declared "It's a disgrace That cars and taxis take up so much city centre space. They're dangerous to cyclists, they make our buildings dark, And when I get to work I find there's nowhere left to park." We can do it, Nothing to it. (We'll just) try to miss the cyclists while cheating at the streeting As we lay a brand new surface layer of brick. And then we'll fix the whereabouts of half a dozen roundabouts; Oh yes, I think that ought to do the trick. And we're movin' the cones, Movin' the cones, Movin' the cones again. Just to suit the planner's whim, Just this once and just for him We'll get this city back in trim By movin' the cones again. The mayor said in his maiden speech, "We must pedestrianize; The tourist trade's essential, as I'm sure you realise. They love our new road surfacing but always raise a fuss When they step onto the bricks and then get run down by a bus." We can do it, Nothing to it. (We'll get) slaving at the paving while deleting all the streeting And relaying all the bricks we did before. We will find out what's exciting in the crannies that need lighting, Well that ought to please our new Chief Councillor. And we're movin' the cones, Movin' the cones, Movin' the cones again. Just for him we'll do this chore, Just this once, then nevermore; I think we've heard that one before As we're movin' the cones again. The roads committee tells that our suburbs are a mess, The cars go charging through them like the six-oh-five express. "They're breaking the speed limits and they wake us out of bed; You simply must do something before someone ends up dead." We can do it, Nothing to it. (We'll just) narrow up the streeting and add ornamental seating While we slow the cars with lots of traffic lights. We'll use that boring cycle lane to make ourselves a new chicane, That's how we'll get those speedsters set to rights. And we're movin' the cones, Movin' the cones, Movin' the cones again. We won't let them get away, (The) Law's the Law, and they'll obey. Even if it takes all day We're movin' the cones again. We'd barely finished working when the letters flooded in, From residents complaining that we'd put them in a spin. "Car access is impossible, and cycle even more, That bloody stupid traffic-calming deathtrap's the last straw!" (Oops) We can do it, Nothing to it. (We will) straighten up the streeting and start saving on the paving While we take out traffic lights that we ignore. We'll open roads to cars again and add another cycle lane And - hey! That's just the way it was before! And we're movin' the cones, Movin' the cones, Movin' the cones again. Months of digging gone to pot Because of what those plans forgot; The council really should be shot For movin' the cones again. Movin' the cones, Movin' the cones, Movin' the cones again.